I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
