Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
