She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
