it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
