Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
