I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize