Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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