i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
