I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
