why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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