I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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