I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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