a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize