I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
