I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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