Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least