Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?