this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
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States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
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Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too