What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
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oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
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I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.