It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?