How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.