Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

He told me I remind him of his sister...

(917): View more from New York City

Was this before or after you did it?

(512): View more from Texas

before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.

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(512): He told me I remind him of his sister... (917): Was this before or after you did it? (512): before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during. http://tfl.nu/66ff

Replies (7) Good night (530) Bad night (2614)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?

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(717): What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning? http://tfl.nu/h9gl

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.

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(724): I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay? (724): I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision. http://tfl.nu/lftu

Replies (32) Good night (1277) Bad night (3535)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?

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(717): Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag. (610): was it embarrassing when you had to say yes? http://tfl.nu/rz29

Replies (10) Good night (1439) Bad night (6148)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror

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(515): I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror http://tfl.nu/xej5

Replies (17) Good night (4961) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"

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(503): He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy" http://tfl.nu/s0u1

Replies (14) Good night (3988) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach

(630): View more from Illinois

Me toooooo!! Margaritas

(773): View more from Illinois

I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good

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(773): Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach (630): Me toooooo!! Margaritas (773): I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good http://tfl.nu/3y14

Replies (51) Good night (1149) Bad night (3636)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook

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(419): I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook http://tfl.nu/40z7

Replies (25) Good night (2503) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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(614): View more from Ohio

Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.

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(614): Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it. http://tfl.nu/4lfe

Replies (18) Good night (747) Bad night (1089)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

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(775): Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear? http://tfl.nu/c8pp

Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.

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(317): You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk. http://tfl.nu/qv2s

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(571): View more from Virginia

Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?

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(571): Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not? http://tfl.nu/ae9g

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(970): View more from Colorado

We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.

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(970): We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest. http://tfl.nu/w1i7

Replies (16) Good night (2427) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.

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(970): Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby. http://tfl.nu/d4tv

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(562): View more from California

Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!

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(562): Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?! http://tfl.nu/ufe7

Replies (6) Good night (201) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt

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