Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just pee around me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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