dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
