you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
