She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
