I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
should my penis look like a turkey
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize