im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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