I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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