Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
