She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
