So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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