she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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