I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
