and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
