my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize