your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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