Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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