we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
