There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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