It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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