I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
