can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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