I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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