im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
