Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
