why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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