sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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