somebody snuck up and got me drunk
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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