You know, be my cock's hype man.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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