Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.