There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...