Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
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I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
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Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.