omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize