Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
