you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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