Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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