my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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