I must be too annoying 4 u.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
