I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
