theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
