Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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