super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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