I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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