almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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