Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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